Daycare chronicles...just the beginning!

Having the opportunity to spend 15 months at home with my son was AMAZING!  I quickly realized that the control freak in me loved the fact that I was in charge of every aspect of his little life and schedule.  When I was offered my current position I immediately became anxious about choosing a daycare.  I already knew that no matter how clean or safe a place seemed, no one could care for Lawsen the way I did at home.  Eran and I begin touring daycares and narrowed it to 2 places.  Our top choice of course had a waiting list so we had to go with choice b- which was really only a contender based on availability and location.  When I did the initial tour I didn't get a warm and fuzzy feeling from the Director, but I shrugged it off and figured I was probably overanalyzing our interaction.  Fast forward to present day and although Lawsen seems fine in his current situation I haven't been too impressed.  His second week the assistant Director called me to ask if someone could pick him up because he had a "laceration in his private area and what appeared to be a rash AND they were worried about infection."  Seeing as how I was also on my second week of a new job, Eran leaves work to pick him up and I call and make a pediatrician appointment.  Once Eran gets Lawsen home he looks him over and doesn't see a "laceration" but what appears to be the beginning of a diaper rash.  With hesitation he takes him to the pediatrician- she diagnoses him with a diaper rash and sends them on their way.  So basically we paid a $25 co-pay for a damn diaper rash!  The next day I pick him up from daycare and his teacher tells me he got in an altercation with another child because he didn't want to share a toy.  The other kid scratched Lawsen under his eye and on his neck.  Trying not to sound like a mom who promotes violence, I asked if Lawsen got in a scratch as well.  She said he did and without her noticing I gave my baby a lil extra squeeze.  I be damn if somebody gonna scratch my baby all up and he doesn't defend himself!  She then went on to explain to me that Lawsen doesn't understand the concept of sharing because he doesn't have siblings with him and this is something we should work on explaining to him.  I looked at her like she had lost her mind and said, "no he doesn't understand the concept of sharing because he is 15 MONTHS."  Now I don't believe in kids hitting or biting or even being little brats and not sharing; however at 15 months they barely know how to walk without tripping over their own feet so they sure as heck are going to have trouble with the concept of sharing!  I was so annoyed!  What annoyed me even further was the fact that the day before he had a diaper rash and they called to report, but the day he gets in an altercation and his scratched all up I don't hear a thing from anybody!  Fast forward to two weeks later.  Lawsen develops a high fever on a Friday evening.  We give him Tylenol and attempt to make him comfortable.  He insists on sleeping with us and laying sideways with his feet on Eran and his head on my belly!  As you can imagine we didn't get much sleep.  By Sunday his fever had not broken so we took him to the pediatrician and he was diagnosed with an ear infection and given antibiotics.  I really wanted to blame the daycare, but I knew it wasn't their fault, but instead just a common issue for a growing toddler.  I've decided to let go and let God when it comes to the daycare.  I know that I would be happier if I arrived to pick him up and his nose wasn't snotty, his shirt wasn't covered in yogurt from lunch and his hair wasn't all over his head BUT I also know he is getting good care and his teacher Ms. Kathy is a nice lil Hatian lady that enjoys speaking French to him just to make him giggle.  I think the real issue is that I'm jealous that the staff at the daycare get to spend so much time with him and I feel guilty for missing so many precious moments with him each day.  I'm so blessed to have been home with him for as long as I was.  I know that when my baby girl arrives it will be an even bigger struggle to leave her with strangers.  And while being a stay at home mom was certainly the hardest job I've ever had, I know that my children will be proud of me no matter if I'm home with them or watching the clock at a 9 to 5.  And lets be honest- all those student loans will not repay themselves! My mama didn't raise no fool :)