I hope the Lord has a blind eye!

Well it's been a minute---or a year or so since I've actually had the time to type my thoughts down, pee with the door closed or sleep like a baby (pun intended).  To say my life has changed is truly an understatement.  Having Lawsen has been the most challenging, yet rewarding hurdle I've ever attempted to jump.  I literally learn something new about him, being a mom, my husband's tolerance level and how to survive with little to no sleep and minimal privacy every single day.  Now that Lawsen has reached the ripe old age of 16 months I'm starting to feel like a pro at this motherhood thing.  Just a little recap.  We moved from VA to FL when Lawsen was 5 weeks!  I think I'm still in shock that we managed to pack up our house and our newborn and drive in the midst of winter without killing one another and with Lawsen still in tact!  When we arrived in FL we lived in a nice lil apartment for the first 9 months before buying a fixer upper in our ideal neighborhood.  Having a baby that is learning to walk and babble all while renovating your home is well- dumb!  We didn't have finished floors for over a month, there was (and still is) boxes everywhere that Lawsen would bump into or dig into (I'm not sure which is worse).   We've learned a lot and I thought we had reached a high point.  I hadn't really worked since we left VA which meant I was home caring for Lawsen and getting him on my perfect little schedule and I felt like we were finally not just surviving, but actually living and enjoying life.  Well as usual God has very different plans and just like not using a condom or being on birth control he can shake your life up real quick!  So here we are with a 16 month old and....I'm pregnant!  My friend, Nada and I were pregnant at the same time with our first babies and coincidentally are pregnant again at the same time.  I asked her recently if we'd lost our damn minds to do it all over again when things were finally starting to feel like the new normal.  Quite frankly I think we are nuts.  While I'm thrilled to be having another baby, finding out we are having a girl has literally scared the crap out of me.  I love little girls and dressing my daughter up in frilly little outfits and huge ass bows has always been a dream BUT girls are difficult.  I think back to my endless attitudes, obnoxious pre-teen days and bad boy obsession and I want to hide under a rock and say 50 Hail Mary's all at the same time.  I just hope and PRAY (Lord I hope you can read this) that my daughter doesn't have the bad attitude gene and thinks I'm the best mom in the whole wide world. BAHAHAHAHAHA I can't even type that without laughing at myself.   I'm sure she'll give me a run for my money and my mom will have some moments where she sits back, shakes her head and thinks "ha now you see what I had to go through and I hope you enjoy it."  I know this is going to be a different and at times difficult journey, but I think I'm ready.  I mean I don't have a choice we are at t-minus 19 weeks.  So wish me luck, stay along for the ride (if you have nothing better to do) and send me all your best advice on dealing with smart mouthed, but ridiculously adorable little girlies! XO