SHIT JUST GOT REAL!

I CAN'T SEE OVER MY BELLY TO SHAVE MY FREAKIN LEGS!!!!!!

NIPPLE/WEDGIE GATE...oh what a site!!

As the weeks pass by I’ve realized more and more that I CANNOT continue to wear the same bra and underwear.  For some reason I completely disregarded this very important piece of information and apparently thought I’d get by on my 34 C and size mediums for the duration of my pregnancy- boy was I sadly mistaken.  I must admit I am a bit of a snob when it comes to bra and underwear.  I refuse to buy a bra from anywhere other than Victoria Secret (mainly because I don’t have to think or try on since I’ve been wearing the same style for 10 years).  I only get new underwear when Victoria Secret sends me a card for a free pair- it’s been working fine for several years now.  So, I received 2 cards in the mail from VS for $10 off a bra and a free pair of underwear.  I headed over to the mall determined to find the perfect fit. 

A lil back story- I knew the old bras were no longer useful when I wore a white tank and looked down and saw my entire areola!  I was so shame!!!  Not to mention that the areola/nipple region mysteriously get darker during pregnancy!  Can you imagine?  It was like two oversized oreo cookies peaking through my shirt.  I was mortified- all I kept thinking is “how many people saw all my business, but didn’t want to embarrass me by saying anything?!” 

This nice lil saleswoman at VS helped me around the store as I told her all my specifics:  for the first time in my life hold the padding, give me full coverage, extra thick straps and for the love of God no underwire!!!  She pulled about 5 different styles and sent me off to the fitting room.  Now one thing about VS salespeople they don’t mind being all up in your personal space- I pushed the call button and she waltzed right on in the fitting room as I stood there bare belly and boobs bursting out of the poor size D she had given me.  She took one look at me and whispered, “we’re gonna have to go up a size.”  Now back in the day I probably would have enjoyed this tid bit of info, but the thought of by boobs being any bigger than a D cup scared the heck out of me, not to mention they aren’t done inflating!  She reemerged a few minutes later with a few styles in DD.  She went on to tell me that she hadn’t seen breast so full in a long time and that I may have to go up a size again to get the full coverage I was requesting.  I just gave her a blank stare and said “could you just close the door.”  I finally decided on a Body by Victoria Demi style and I am beyond happy with my purchase!  I’m pretty sure Eran thinks my new bra is anything but flattering, but I finally feel comfortable and can breathe!  Of course I snagged my free panties too!  It was a good day!

After the VS shopping adventure I realized I couldn’t get by on just one free pair of underwear, but as snobby as I wanted to be I also couldn’t see myself paying full price at VS for size large either.  Eran insisted I go to Target and get some underwear that fit because he was tired of me whining and complaining.  I honest to God have not purchased underwear in a package since college; I didn’t even know where to begin.  I stared at the wall of Hanes and Fruit of the Loom for women for at least 20 minutes.  I finally chose a package of each brand (wanting to give each a fair shot).  It was a little awkward- almost like the first time your mom makes you buy your own tampons.  I don’t know if I was slightly embarrassed by the size or the fact that I was over 30 and buying underwear that came 8 to a pack!  When I got in the car I opened the package and stretched a pair out for Eran to see.  His eyes grew almost as large as the damn underwear!  We both were like there is no way I can fit these things!!  I went home and tried them on over another pair (in case I had to return them) and I must admit as embarrassing as it is my big ass fit in them perfectly and I have been comfortable and happy ever since!  My poor body is going through changes I never imagined and the first time my son tries to talk back or complain about something you best believe I will not miss an opportunity to tell him what I went through for his lil butt!  I can finally say I understand why mothers everywhere feel the need to constantly remind their children about the hours they were in labor and how fine and good looking they were before kids, I actually can say I GET IT!  BUT, I be dern if I stay a size large and a DD post baby, I’ll being hiring a personal trainer to whip this butt back into shape pronto!